After my not so beloved experience of the Drunken Master, I think I got further with some conceptualization of what self control is to Actualization, and what Actualization is not to self control. When I was drunk, the guy who was there is not the only persona to blame. The whole circumstances that lead to … Continue reading The Opposite of Actualization
Nothing matters. No path is superior than the other. And so there are no shiny end results, and dusty dirty ones. intrinsic value is nonexistent. There is no fixed hierarchies of paths. It is all made up. and all interconnected infinitely. One cannot exist without the other. So why hold some of them high up … Continue reading What Does Matter ?
I've always thought that attaining enlightenment is the eradication of all desires. My mind can't comprehend this idea. It seems impossible. Today I thought to myself that may be desires actually never go, you just fight them with ease, as opposed to struggling to curb them. It must be so. Otherwise, why do monks isolate … Continue reading A Black Belt Desires Fighter
How come that I never was before I was born ? And how come that I will no more be after I die ? I don't feel like I never was. Surely, thanks to historians and human memory, I know a lot of stuff has been happening before my two initial cells started proliferating, but … Continue reading Had I been before I was ?
I really don't know what to say. Or could it be that I don't know what to begin with ? Ok, so what's the train ? My mind is telling me it's a silly question but let's just follow the rabbit to its hole and see where it may lead me. So, the train is … Continue reading The House of Existence
I lost track of the days as the sun continued going up and down. I found myself discovering a new unfathomable world. I enjoyed watching the birds and insects fly, and I looked at the crawling caterpillars and wondered why they have no wings. I didn't feel the need that I must keep counting the days … Continue reading Childhood Trauma (Part.2)
There is something troubling when the people around behave in accordance with their scripts, while you are standing in the middle questioning all and learning nothing. If your grounds are shaky, you may end up doubting yourself. It could easily be the case that everybody is right, and it is only you who's wrong. After … Continue reading The Greatest Prison Escape
My mother bore me while her periods could still be counted on a hand's fingers. In her village, it was not uncommon for girls to marry at an early age, but even based on their standards, she was so young its weird to even call her a mother. Blurry are her facial features to me … Continue reading Childhood Trauma (Part.1)
On the way back, on board a Taxi where four people are scrambled at the back seats, I struggle to provide myself with oxygen. The windows are closed, and the heat is getting intense. Being self conscious of my breathing aggravated the situation. As I could feel the lungs of the others on my ribs, … Continue reading A Taxi Ride Back Home
What's the origin of all poems ? Emotions and feelings. What's the origin of emotions and feelings ? Sensory experience. Where does sensory experience come from ? It comes from my body. Where did my body come from ? From the inception of my parents' reproductive cells. Is my body holding this pen ? Yes, … Continue reading The Origin of All Poems